The holidays are in your hands -Coping with the holiday blues

You may think you are the only person who isn’t gleeful about the upcoming holidays.  However, for many (and for most adults) the holidays are accompanied with an understandable amount of dread.  We are around people, who push our buttons or that we don’t  enjoy spending time with.  For some people it’s the feeling of loneliness and lacking the relationships we think we ought to have. 

If any of these are your experience you are not alone.  Here are some tips to help transform your holiday experience:

1. Recognize that you are not alone and stop comparing yourself to people you think have the perfect family or “love the holidays!”  Unless you are a child awaiting toys on Christmas this is often not the case.
2. Don’t let guilt about spending time with others lead you to over-commit.  Being thankful also means being present to enjoy your life.  So, in addition to doing things for others, make sure to continue to do things for yourself. Maybe you will treat yourself to something special. 
3. Connect with the people that you are close with instead of fantasizing about the relationships with people who you are separated from.
4. Do something active take a walk, exercise, go to a yoga class
5. Treat yourself well (and I don’t mean by allowing yourself to eat until you have to put elastic on your pants).   I mean pamper yourself, take a day off work, treat yourself to a movie for example
6. Open your mouth.  It never ceases to amaze me how helpful it is to simply share with people what’s going on with you.  More often than not, people appreciate opportunities to be there for others and it often creates a reciprocal benefit by opening the door for someone else to share what’s going on with them.
7. Get rest and adequate sleep.
8. Get into the light.  Pathologize it if you like, (seasonal affective disorder), but just getting some sunlight just does the body good!
9. Ask for help whether it be personal or professional
10. LAUGH whether it’s for a reason or for none at all.  Just do it.  Laughing is therapeutic.

Coffee Talk -How does caffeine effect us

Anxiety is the most common issue that brings people into therapy.    Many of those experiencing anxiety also note that they consume at least 1 cup of coffee/caffeinated beverage a day.  When asked if they think that the amount of caffeine they consume influences their anxiety levels, often people report that the caffeine has little to no impact on their anxiety or sleep.

Caffeine is a stimulant which means that it creates a physiological response in the body that includes increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, elevated mood, suppressed appetite, and increased body temperature. 

The positive effects of stimulants are also used in common weight-loss drugs and attention enhancing drugs like Ephedra and  Ritalin (or now more commonly used, Adderall).  That’s why those that use these drugs enjoy secondary benefits.  For example, those that take Ephedra for weight loss also notice that it helps them be more focused and feel improved mood.  It’s also why people who do not actually have ADD/ADHD receive a benefit from the stimulants like Adderall, which is why its use is so common as a recreational drug.

The downside is that often when we consume caffeine on a daily basis, the impact on our bodies is masked.  I’ve talked to people who have weaned themselves off or have stopped drinking caffeine, and notice an immediate impact on their sleep.  Even if you have built up a tolerance to caffeine, at some point in time, your sleep cycle was influenced.  Many times, this lends to having difficulty getting to sleep or staying asleep.  After we’ve had a poor night of sleep, we need to have caffeine the next day in order to feel like we can function or compensate from the lack of sleep from the night before.  What we may not realize is that we are simultaneously disrupting our body’s natural sleep-wake cycle.   We are building up the amount of a stimulating substance in our bodies which can contribute to dependence and withdrawal.

Often these symptoms go unrecognized as results of caffeine dependence and we get concerned about our mental or physical health:  We feel irritable, anxious, can’t sleep, can’t concentrate and get frequent headaches. 

Maybe you don’t believe that it’s coffee alone that has an impact on your system.   Consider then the influence that sleep alone has on how you feel.   Sleep deprivation results in irritability, poor concentration, depressed mood, and of course being emotionally, physically and mentally tired.

So, don’t let me be the judge.  Try it for yourself by simply paying attention to what you notice in your mind and body when you drink caffeine, or if you drink regularly, how it feels when you don’t.   Let me know how it goes!